Daily, we pray the Our Father, the Lord’s Prayer: The Prayer. There are two versions in the Gospels: the version of St. Matthew (cf. Mt 6:9-15) and the version of St. Luke (cf. Lk 11:1-4). The version of St. Matthew is the one all Christians pray.
St. Augustine says to us: “If we would pray rightly and fittingly, we should say nothing else but what is contained in this prayer of the Lord.” The Bishop of Hippo adds: In the Our Father, Jesus prays for us as our priest; he prays in us as our head [of the Mystical Body of Christ] he is prayed to by us as our God.
The most incredible characteristic of the prayer is calling our God, Father, our Father in whom - as his children - we trust, from whom we depend and to whom we obey. St. Cyprian speaks wonderfully of God as our Father, and underlines that God is not just my Father, not just your Father, but our Father. We are a family, a close spiritual family of brothers and sisters: the Christian Family.
Hereafter, I wish to reflect on the petition to our divine Father: forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us” (Mt 6:12; cf. Lk 11:4). Thus, the Our Father takes us to forgiveness, which is so essential in our Christian life - and for our happiness.
Forgiveness is simply “the expulsion of hatred, the rejection of wishing evil to the other. It is hope in the conversion of the criminal” (E. Lasarre). Forgiving others is a characteristic of true human and divine love (charity), and an essential quality of interior peace. As disciples of Jesus, we love all with forgiving love: one who truly loves forgives! Charity is the greatest over-all virtue, and vivifies all other virtues, while mercy or compassion is the greatest virtue regarding the neighbor (St. Thomas Aquinas). Compassion is an effect of charity with peace and joy, and includes two things: forgiving and almsgiving. St. Isidore of Seville: All can and should forgive others, including those who have no bread to share with others.
Jesus says: If you forgive the faults of others, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours. If you do not forgive others, neither your heavenly Father will forgive you” (Mt 6:14-15). We remember Jesus’ Parable of the Unforgiving Servant (Mt 18:21-35), which Jesus concludes thus: So, my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart (Mt 18:35). St. Paul asks Jesus’ disciples: Just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:13). “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you” (Eph 4:32).
Hate the sin, love the sinner - whoever he or she may be. Certainly, authentic love is forgiving love. Let us examine the various ways people forgive others - and themselves.
(1) Some people are able to forgive all. We are asked by our faith to forgive all, including our enemies (Mt. 5:44). Here, we are talking of forgiveness at the individual level. Social forgiveness is different and implies the fulfillment of social justice and human rights). In any case, without forgiveness - personal as well as social peace- is not possible, and without forgiveness, the race of Cain will continue.
(2) Some others say that they forgive but do not forget. “I forgive, but I do not forget.” Then, probably you do not forgive! Not forgetting implies answering a wrong with another wrong. They forgive, they say, but do not forget, that is, they may still be resentful, and may harbor certain longing for retaliation, revenge, or “an eye for an eye,” which is not a good option at all. (Cf. Pope Francis, Fratelli Tutti, nos. 50-54).
True Christian forgiving implies forgetting the offense as offence. God forgets our forgiven sins. The Prophet prayed gratefully: O Lord, “You have cast all my sins behind your back” (Is 38:17). The oriental story of the woman visionary whose monthly visions of God her parish priest did not believe. Tired of her many visits, the priest told her: “OK, I will believe you if God tells you my secret sins.” In her next vision, the woman asked God. Later, she answered to the priest: “I asked God and he told me that he has forgotten your sins.”
Christ forgave those who crucified him: “Father, forgive them” - He even excused them -, “for they do not know what they are doing” (Lk 23:34). As his followers, we try to do the same. St. Augustine, speaking to God, says: “I know you have forgiven my past sins, and have drawn a tapestry over them to give me happiness in yourself and transform my life by faith and baptism” (Confessions, Bk Ten, 3). St. Teresa of Avila tells us that God forgives and forgets, that he does not remember our ingratitude (Libro de la Vida, XIX, 4 and 14).
One may ask: How can I forget? I have a good memory! With some theologians, I also believe in another formulation: instead of forgetting the sins of our offenders, we remember them in another way: as forgiven. I like to say: Remember the offense of another as a healed wound. There is, perhaps, a little scar but it is not painful at all.
(3) Still others forgive if the offender asks them for it. Question: Do we only forgive the offenders when they tell us they are sorry? Answer: Not so. God forgives us always, if we are repentant; but we are not God. In fact, every night, at the beginning of our Night Prayer, we ask God to forgive us and we forgive our offenders through the day, including those who did not tell us “I am sorry.”
(4) Some do not forgive themselves: “I do not forgive myself.” All of us – sinners – have made mistakes and may have committed more than venial sins, perhaps in our youth - or later. Thereafter, we may blame ourselves: How could I have done this? In due time, we did acknowledge our sins, we confessed them, and God forgave and forgot them. Some among us - me, too - suggest to forget completely our forgiven sins. St. Francis de Sales says that Mary Magdalen, after she was forgiven by Jesus, never looked back at her bad past. Others prefer to remember their past sins to be more deeply sorry (there might be the danger of getting dirty). Personally, I try hard to focus on the present and walk - at times limping - towards the future by steps of faithful, prayerful and hopeful love. My past - and yours - is in God’s merciful hands who has forgiven and forgotten our sins
A final note. St. Teresa of Ávila advises us: praying the Our Father well implies not to separate oneself from the Master who gave it to us… I am awed when I see that in so few words is contained the whole contemplation and perfection, in such a way that we do not need another book, but to study this one [the Our Father]” (Way of Perfection, 24, 5 and 37, 1). The mystic from Avila suggests to us not to pray it in a hurry, as if wanting to finish it as soon as possible, and repeating it.
Praying well the Lord’s Prayer requires attention and devotion. Like all good vocal prayers, which are also mental prayers, the Our Father entails knowing who is praying, to whom he or she is praying and what are they saying. Who is praying it? All of us, sinners. To whom are we talking? To God, our Father. What are we saying? Different petitions.
Dear heavenly Father, help us to ask your forgiveness and to forgive one another - and ourselves; and to pray well the Our Father. May your omnipotent and merciful name be forever praised! (FGB)